“Why do I fall in love so easily?”. It is a question that many people ask themselves, worried about whether they have a problem.
Love is a feeling that we all experience at some point in our lives, and that we wish it was always reciprocated. Unfortunately, it is not always so because it often happens that someone who is not interested in us catches our attention.
This is normal. What is not so bad is falling madly in love with someone new every two by three, a problem that can have behind self-esteem problems and a very dependent personality. Let’s see it next.
‘Why do I fall in love so easily?’ A common problem
Love is a universal feeling, it shows that we can feel bond with other people beyond our family circle. Love connects us with people who, if they were completely strangers before, will now be part of our lives. Who doesn’t want to fall in love? Who doesn’t want to feel like someone is in love with him or her?
But although it is an emotion normally associated as positive, something nice to feel, there are people in whom their frequency of falling in love is worrying. Falling in love frequently and then feeling the hard and relentless weight of disappointment after a short time is something that can hurt us, and people in love know this very well, who, although with good intentions and wishes, are not always happy people.
People who get excited as soon as they meet someone anywhere have a dangerous tendency to idealize a romantic life, full of good experiences, set very high expectations, and then suffer for a love that was doomed practically from the beginning. There can be many unfulfilled shortages that influence those who wonder why they fall in love so easily.
There are those who say that people who fall in love easily have a personality characterized by a certain emotional immaturity and irresponsibility. Some of these people are able to leave a relationship they had just started to start a new one., throwing away “old” loves to jump into the arms of a new one and feel that feeling that we had as children as soon as we opened the toys that they gave us at Christmas.
Regardless of whether that is true or not, there is an undeniable fact about all the people who constantly enter and leave relationships: they suffer. Falling in love every two by three, deluding oneself with a man or a woman, hating who is dating, dreaming of someone you just met … all these actions involve moments of true illusion followed by a downturn, an emotional collapse marked by hard setback that life gives us, with disappointments and frustrations.
You cannot have everything in this life, and this is evidenced by the fact that not all loves are reciprocated. Not all couples end up being something, and many don’t even have a beginning, something especially painful for a person in love., caught up in the thought of “this is the final one.” Your obsession with not being alone can become such that you put aside your self-esteem and dignity in order to stay with someone, regardless of how you treat them.
There are several causes that can be behind falling in love very frequently.
1. Tendency to idealize
Many people are in love because they have a great tendency to idealize the relationship they are going to establish with people around them. They see others under a golden halo, magnifying their strengths and ignoring their weaknesses and because others are seen as perfect, they cannot help but fall in love with them.
2. Low self-esteem
Another of the possible causes behind a person falling in love very often has to do with having a very low self-esteem. People with little confidence and self-confidence may seek to fill this void by having someone by their side., someone who covers their deficiencies, who tells them that they are worth as a person.
As a consequence of that dysfunctional need, extremely in love people fall in love with anyone who treats them the least bit well.
3. Addiction to falling in love
It may come as a surprise to say that one of the causes of falling in love easily is, precisely, the addiction to falling in love. How is this possible? Well, the answer is simpler than it might seem.
As with addictions to certain substances, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that manifests itself when we do something pleasant, such as having sex.
During the first phase of falling in love, our brain releases this neurotransmitter, which is why we feel an emotional high when we start a relationship. People addicted to this high tend to start and end relationships quickly to feel this sensation more times, with which we can speak of an addiction to falling in love.
4. Fear of loneliness
Rapid infatuation can be a sign of a dependent personality and synonymous with a deep fear of loneliness..
As in our culture, not having a partner is seen as a bad thing, synonymous with the fact that we are a bit disconnected from society, people fearful of being alone pathologically seek to be accompanied by someone. They are willing to go out with anyone, even if they treat them badly, as long as they don’t feel that dreaded feeling of loneliness.
5. Inability to learn from mistakes in love
Sometimes what happens is that you are simply unable to learn from past experiences. There are people who do not learn from their mistakes and who, As painful as the experiences have been in the past, they come across the same stone again.
Either because this is part of their personality or because they have been educated in a way in which they do not seem to pay special attention to the mistakes they have made, there are people who despite suffering for love every two out of three do not learn.
What can be done?
As we have commented before, the problem behind may be a lack of self-esteem and a fear of loneliness. If you have been a person who has been with you all your life, even if they have been multiple, being single is something that is always intimidating.
However, more than a threat, singleness should be seen as an opportunity to get to know yourself, a moment of introspection to know what strengths and weaknesses we have and use it as a reference to grow from that point.
Self-esteem depends solely and exclusively on us, not on the fact that we are dating someone. When you achieve self-love, having a partner becomes a mere choice, an addition to our lives, not something that gives us value as people. You decide to go out with someone because you like the way they are, their personality, their tastes and their way of being, not because of the pathological need to have someone by their side.
But nevertheless, If the love impulsivity is extreme, causing discomfort and the way to manage the situation is not found, it is necessary to seek professional help. We should not feel ashamed to go to a psychologist’s consultation because we believe that we fall in love easily. As we have discussed, it can be a sign of self-esteem problems, an inability to learn from past experiences, and a pathological fear of being single that, perhaps, requires psychological intervention. And no matter how many partners we have, if we do not solve our problems before we will not be happy.