Relationships are not something that can be taken for granted.. They were happy and ate partridges from the stories, leaving a huge gap in our emotional education, just as if, once we reached the infatuation phase and reciprocated, there would be nothing else to do.
However, nothing could be further from the truth. Once the initial phase is over, true life as a couple begins, which implies a commitment and a voluntary effort so that being together is something that compensates both parties.
Principles to improve love relationships as a couple
From Atlas Psychologists Tres Cantos recommend, first of all, be aware that the ups and downs in a relationship are something perfectly natural, and that relationships must be continually nurtured to work well. Because, make no mistake, relationships take work. A lot of work.
Luckily, it is becoming more and more common to talk about the concerns of a couple openly, and we are more aware that the couple is a life option that we have opted for, so going to the psychologist to solve problems is the right step.
Continuously, every day, there are going to be countless opportunities to get it right or wrong. The day to day is a long-distance race in which the couple must show that they care.
Let’s see some tricks to improve your relationship and make it work.
1. Feed what unites us
Improving the couple’s relationship in marriage, or in a long-lived relationship, implies a commitment that involves a continuous effort by both parties to maintain the values that keep them together. These values may be different for each pair, although for most they usually include trust, communication, respect and cooperation.
It is common for these principles to deteriorate due to lack of attention and in a subtle and progressive way, so it is necessary to review the relationship and review yourself.
2. Take care of sexuality
When it comes to improving the relationship with children, one of the factors that often come out in couples therapy is the deterioration of sexual life.
It is normal that in the couple relationship the physical attraction is not the same as at the beginning, and that daily obligations do not leave room for such an intense sexual life.
However, enjoying a healthy and fun sexuality is always possible, without idealizing the sexual life that was had in other stages. It is very important to listen to the couple, because It is possible that without realizing it we have been changing our way of relating to her on an intimate level.
Introducing small novelties, fantasies, gifts or simply reserving time for a dinner alone or a moment of intimacy are gestures that can help. In this aspect, as in others, it is also important to do our part and not get carried away by routine.
3. Managing emotions: kindness and displays of affection
Arguments or anger, from time to time, in a couple, are perfectly normal. What we must pay attention to is the way we handle them, without ever disrespecting ourselves. When anger dominates us, we can exceed certain limits that harm the other person. This is something that should not be allowed within the couple.
The key is to have assertive communication, which is something that can be trained and learned. Relationships should be loving without ever missing a smile or a kiss, so that life as a couple is pleasant.
4. Be Reliable
Almost all people say that trust is absolutely key for the couple.
Confidence is something that it is lived from the smallest details, which imply being considerate of the other person, such as respecting agreements, being punctual, fulfilling what was promised and even remembering the dates indicated.
All these actions indicate coherence and give solidity and stability to the relationship, since there is mutual trust, it is felt that the other person always supports us.
5. Be a team
Couple relationships occur in a context that involves more people, whether they are family, friends, children, work contexts…
All this implies that the decisions made by one member of the couple affect the other, so almost all important decisions should be taken by mutual agreement.
By establishing common goals, the couple consolidates and becomes strong in the face of “the world.” This does not mean that you will always agree, Sometimes it will be necessary to give in, but the opinion of the other must be valued to reach consensus.
6. Reorganize the division of family and household tasks
Although it may seem trivial, for couples who live together, especially if they have children, poor household management can end up breaking the marital balance.
From Atlas Psychologists recommend have each member of the couple write down all the family issues they are dealing with. Afterwards, they will put them together, assessing whether the distribution is fair and whether they wish to introduce changes.
This is a way of becoming aware of the burden of the other person, which will make us be more considerate of them, in addition to being able to negotiate on those tasks that we like less or involve more conflict.
7. Respect the times and spaces of the couple
Although not having moments of intimacy to do things together and have fun is usually one of the weaknesses of current couples, there is also another enemy, just the opposite, for those couples who do everything together and are demanding over time. of the other.
As individual beings, it is healthy to have time for ourselves, for our hobbies, to reflect alone., relax or enjoy the company of other people other than our partner. Knowing how to respect the space of the couple and defend our own is essential to maintain healthy relationships, where each individual has a rich and full life for himself, free of dependencies, to be able to share quality moments with the other.