Before the world will end we will stop asking ourselves this question: Does the physique matter to flirt?
It would be unconscious to say no, that the physical does not matter at all and that handsome and ugly flirt alike. It only takes a look around us to realize that the handsome are more attracted than the ugly and are more successful when it comes to finding a partner.
Is being attractive more flirting? Does the physical matter?
But, What is to be handsome and what is to be ugly? The answer may vary depending on who answers. Feúra and guapura, many times, are very subjective concepts. We can affirm that such a person is beautiful or that such a person is ugly. But if we focus on what makes them ugly or what makes them beautiful, things change; it will be more difficult to answer. The same could happen if we show a group of friends a picture of a boy and ask if they consider him ugly or handsome. Surely a little debate about tastes, opinions and preferences will be created.
Next, we will expose three reflections about ugliness and beauty that will help you think differently and observe beauty from three different perspectives. Possibly, when you finish reading this article, your self-esteem is starting to rise.
1. Go outside and observe
Let’s go for a walk and feel the sun and fresh air on our faces. Let’s walk carefully observing the people on the street. We will surely see people of all types of gender, race, age and class. Let’s look at each one of them and try to determine if they are handsome or ugly. Let’s compare them, first, between them. Let’s observe their eyes, their mouths, their body … Let’s walk as judges in a beauty championship.
Next, let’s change the comparison subject to ourselves. Let’s contrast ourselves with the rest of the people. It may be easier for us to decide if we use our filter selfconcept. According to our self-esteem, there will be more people in the bag of the handsome than in the bag of the ugly and vice versa. Finally, before going home, let’s compare the people who pass by on the street with the canons of beauty that the cinema and advertising have implanted in us; Let’s compare all the boys with Brad Pitt. Things change, right? Surely the bag of the ugly is overflowing.
2. Let’s reinterpret genetics
On The journey to love, Eduard Punset explained very well what love is and its mechanisms of attraction. In his book, he explained one thing that everyone knows: people are attracted and, consequently, we see more handsome individuals with better genetics.
According to this theory, people with the best physique are the ones who link the most. Therefore, people with better genetics are the ones who link the most. But what is genetics and what is not? We tend to understand that genetic traits are palpable and observable characteristics: eye color, muscles, height, hair, teeth … but isn’t personality observable?
Perhaps, according to their actions and their way of being, do we not observe the behavior of people? Isn’t intelligence, cognitive abilities or humor also genetic? Just like we go to the gym to make the most of our bodies, can’t we train our personality to be more attractive? How many times have we heard from a girl “that guy was very hot until he opened his mouth”?
3. Darwin could explain a few things to us
Let’s remember and remember our school years. Who was able to flirt more, back then? The stages of socialization and learning mark us for life and it is in adolescence when we forge many of our beliefs regarding beauty. If we become evolutionists and remember what they told us about Darwin in school, we can understand why hooligans always hooked up, boys who excelled in sports, or boys who were simply handsome because they had pretty eyes and gorgeous hair.
Regarding why ‘tough guys’ flirt more, I think it’s essential to read the article “Why do women prefer tough guys?” by the psychologist Bertrand Regader, in which he explains the personality profile ‘Dark triad’ that attracts women so much.
Bad boy draws, but it’s a downward trend …
According to evolutionists, girls are attracted to males who can protect them and give better offspring. Although this theory is highly debatable, there is some truth to it. If we stick to this hypothesis, we can come to understand why in high school it was always the same people who managed to flirt with the girls they liked. The girls had families to protect them and they didn’t need anything else. They didn’t have to look at smart guys. It was enough for them to look at the most handsome boys because their stability did not depend on them, at least the economic one. If we think about the previous reflection, for them beauty was reduced to something superficial and banal because their needs of that moment were already covered on the other hand.
In summary, beauty is a subjective factor that has genetic roots, but that we can work, either physically or intellectually. The canons of beauty are references that we must take into account but, outside of the television, there is a real life in which we must live happily. Let’s not let the learnings and beliefs that we generated in the past torment us and let’s learn to understand the world in a new way that protects and improves our self-esteem and our self-concept.
More tips to be more attractive (even if you think you are not)
We have recently published a post that can make you assess the subject of physical attractiveness from another perspective. In addition to everything that we have already exposed, you should bear in mind that there are some keys to attracting other people. Experience and polishing some details can make us much more attractive when it comes to finding someone with whom to share special moments.